Decoding The British Dating Culture And Finding a British Boyfriend

From the fictitious Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice to the suave Benedict Cumberbatch, we see British men as old-fashioned charmers. As an expat in London, you’re probably dreaming of a Notting Hill style romance.

The good news is, there are plenty of single, handsome men you could date. That said, dating in Britain is a little different from what it’s like across the sea. You’ll find the men more reserved and the attitude towards dating to be more laid-back. Here’s a quick guide to what to expect and how to create your fairy tale.

How do I meet British singles?

While British men are more conservative and traditional as compared to American men, they are open to the idea of online dating. Meeting people online is quite popular in the UK. Profile-based dating websites like Match.com are the best bet for finding compatible matches. Reading through profiles of potential matches gives you a decent idea of what to expect from a relationship with the person.

The UK also has a vibrant nightlife culture. It isn’t unusual to run into charming Britishers at the local pubs and bars. Your friend circle will also be happy to play matchmaker and introduce you to interesting people. If you’re yet to build a social circle, think about attending a few events and local meetups. Such events are a fun, safe way to meet like-minded people.

How to find a British boyfriend online?

The first step to finding a British boyfriend online is to pick a dating platform. Broadly speaking, the choice is between location-based dating apps that put people in your vicinity on your radar and profile-based dating sites that focus more on what the person has to say about himself. The latter is usually a smarter bet.

Next, you need to create a profile for yourself. For the dating app to find relevant matches you need to be honest about what you’re looking for and paint a realistic picture of who you are. Make sure you talk about yourself in positive terms and stay away from cliches.

The third step is to find your match. How the person looks in their picture is important for sure but also take the time to read through profiles. British men aren’t usually the type to date multiple people at a time. So, before you swipe too much, meet your first choice for a date. Here are a few things to keep in mind when you’re picking a date:

• Make sure the profile has a clear individual picture
• Look for a date based in your vicinity
• Check for mutual interests
• Avoid profiles with blank sections

What to expect when dating a British man?

As with any other cultural stereotype, take the image painted of British men with a pinch of salt. They don’t all wear top hats and drink tea from China cups. That said, there are a few things you could expect from a relationship with them.

They’re not usually comfortable with PDA

British culture is quite conservative. Public displays of affection like hugging and a kiss on the cheek are rather uncommon. If you’re not used to it, it may seem cold but that isn’t usually the case. A public display of emotions is considered weak in the UK and hence, the men are more self-contained. They like their personal space and in the early days of your relationship, they’re likely to meet you with a handshake rather than a hug. It’s a different story behind closed doors though as the British can be very affectionate and loving.

An evening at the local pub is considered a date

Britishers are known for their pub culture. It’s where local communities gather, where people socialize and unwind. Having a drink or two at the pub is considered the ideal first date. The vibe is relaxed, and the weekends are more popular with a younger crowd. That said, when it comes to having a drink, Tuesday is as good as Friday for British men.

They might be ardent football/ rugby fans, and they don’t like missing a game. So, there’s a game on date night, don’t be surprised if you’re headed to the pub.

They’re polite

The British take pride in being prim, proper and polite. If someone bumps into you, they’ll apologize instantly – and maybe more than once – even if it isn’t their fault. This behaviour carries forward to dating etiquette too. As a result, though a man might find you attractive, he’ll wait for a sign from you before making a move.

The flip side to this politeness is that if they don’t like something, they may not be as direct about it as you’d like.

They want to take care of you

British men as chivalrous to a fault. It’s part of their charm. They’ll open doors for you, pull out chairs, lend you their jackets and so on. For the few dates or at least the first date, they’ll insist on paying the bill. After a few dates, splitting the bill is a common practice. Alternatively, you could pay for the drinks while they pay for dinner. After all, they like independent women and believe in gender equality. As true gentlemen, they extend their social code to interactions with everyone around them – from the doorman to the waiter, they’ll be nice to everyone they meet.

Smart-casual is the usual date outfit style

They don’t expect you to be all dressed up for a date, but they do expect you to look good. Joggers and a sweatshirt aren’t going to cut it unless you’re meeting up for a morning run. Men pay as much attention to their outfits as women. Smart casuals are the preferred choice for date wear. Most people meet for a date straight from work. Pick out trousers or a skirt paired with a smart blazer or a sheath dress with a pair of heels and light jewellery to create an impressive outfit.

Don’t expect to meet the family early

They aren’t in a hurry for you to meet their family. One of the reasons for this is that they don’t consider parental approval as important. It may be a while before you meet their friends, too. Many Britishers keep their friend groups and romantic relationships separate – this could be good if you don’t like socializing too much. That said, they aren’t afraid of commitment.

How do British guys show interest?

They do not flirt overtly until they are sure that their interest is reciprocated. Their approach can be direct or indirect, with the latter being more common since it is less confrontational. So, how do you know when you’ve caught a British man’s interest? Here are a few tips:

They are attentive to your needs

They will take the time to listen to all that you have to say if they see you as a romantic partner. While they won’t interrupt you, they will share their opinions and thoughts later. If he remembers details like what kind of wine you like or your favourite books, it’s a sure sign that he’s interested in you and his feelings go beyond being polite.

They maintain eye contact

When a British man is interested in you, you’ll find them maintaining eye contact for longer. Don’t be surprised to catch them watching you when you’re not looking. They have a way of giving you the ‘once over’ without making you uncomfortable.

They reduce the physical gap

They aren’t comfortable with PDA, but when they’re interested in a woman, their body language will indicate their interest. You’ll find them leaning in during a conversation, linking arms while you’re walking or touching your shoulder or your arm. This indicates a growing level of comfort around you.

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