How to Make the First Date a Perfect Date

First dates can be nerve-wracking, especially if you haven’t dated for a while. Your thoughts are running a mile a minute and your head is filled with questions like, ‘What makes a perfect first date?’, ‘How can I plan for a perfect first date?’, ‘What should I wear to look my best on the first date?’, and ‘Where is the best place to go, to make it a perfect date?’

It can be stressful, but we’ve got you covered. Take a deep breath, relax, and keep reading for answers to all these questions and more.

What factors should I consider when planning a perfect first date?

Here’s an outline of the five main factors to keep in mind. These are just the basics and we’ll go into the specifics below.

1. Location

This can make or break a date. If you are responsible for picking the venue, make sure you find out what works best for both of you. If your date is choosing the location and wants to keep it a surprise, at the very least you should insist on knowing how to dress for the occasion.

2. What to wear for a first date

It depends on where you’re going and what’s appropriate for that place. An evening gown or a suit won’t work in a bowling alley, right? On the other hand, if you’re fine dining, make sure you know the dress code so you aren’t turned away at the door!

3. Breaking the ice

This is a key element, but don’t get too worked up about it. You’ll both be feeling a little nervous so cut yourself and your date some slack.

4. What to talk about

Study their profile a little before the date. Remember what it was that attracted you to them. You are with each other because you found each other compatible. As with icebreakers, it’s important to go easy on yourself and the other person.

5. Should I make a move?

This is a hard one. It’s usually best to wait until the second or third date for this, but it’s not an exact science. Nothing about the dating game is precise. You just have to wait, see, and get a feel for things yourself.

Our top 5 picks for the ideal first date

1. Dining out

This never gets old. Having dinner together, going to a cafe, going for a drink, or grabbing a coffee in the park are all good. They aren’t original date ideas, but they don’t need to be. They work and that’s what matters. Everyone likes to chat over good food, and there’s always enough going on around you to break the ice and get talking easily.

2. Museum visit

Check out their online profile to find the things you have in common. If that’s the museum, then great! It’s a fun, relaxed first date with loads to talk about. It could also be an art gallery, photographic exhibition, or anything else you’re both interested in.

3. Festivals

Think outdoor fairs, carnivals, music and food festivals, or even a good farmers market. Keep your common interests in mind. Make sure it’s easy to get there so you don’t any have stress arriving, parking, etc.

4. Take a class

Learning together can be super romantic. It’s also a terrific way to get to know the real person and for you to be yourself in the best way possible. Cookery classes are ideal, but anything that suits your interests will do.

5. Go bowling

Bowling is a great option as it’s relaxing and enjoyable. Even if you’re rubbish at bowling, it gives you a chance to have some fun and make light of your terrible play. You may never bowl together again, but you will surely remember that first date.

How should I dress?

Rule 1: find out where you’re going or at least how to dress!

Rule 2: keep it comfortable. Whether you are going bowling or Michelin star dining, don’t wear something brand new, or something you can’t breathe or move in.

Rule 3: it’s either casual or dressy. Pub, cafe, walk in the park, food festival, cooking class, and bowling are all casual. Fine dining, art exhibitions, and a night at the opera are all dressy.

How can I make the atmosphere romantic on our first date?

1. Choose your location carefully

Fancy restaurants with soft music are good. As for skydiving and bungee jumping…not so much. Keep the atmosphere personal and intimate.

2. Reveal, but not too much

Show an interest in what your date is telling you. Make sure you are also revealing things about yourself, but don’t overshare. Keep a little bit of mystery. Your love of travel should definitely be discussed, but leave out your graphic experiences with ‘traveller’s tummy’.

3. Order carefully from the menu

Stick with food that you can eat comfortably and easily in small mouthfuls. Avoid pungent and messy meals, as well as anything that requires special instruments you are unfamiliar with.

4. Research it

Actually, we’ve already done this for you.

How do I break the ice? What do I do if there’s a pause in the conversation?

A quick easy compliment about how great they look, or a specific reference to how much you like something they are wearing is a quick win. Then leave it at that. One compliment is enough.

Do a little research on their profile before you meet them and prepare questions that genuinely interest you. Not only will it get the conversation started, but it will allow you to keep it rolling along effortlessly.

If you hit a potentially awkward pause, try some of these:

• What was your best-ever trip?
• What’s one thing you have always wanted to do but haven’t done yet?
• Play truth or lie. Tell one truth and one lie, then guess which is which.
• Ask what they would do tomorrow if money and obligation were suddenly no obstacle.

If you still need more help, you can rely on these classic techniques to get the conversation flowing smoothly again.

Etiquette and manners on a first date

• Talk about the things you love, not the things that grind your gears.
• Minimise bad language.
• Talk about yourself but don’t make it only all about you.
• Listen to your date and show interest.
• Don’t complain. Don’t mock.
• Be nice to the wait staff and other service personnel.
• Put your phone away. Better yet, turn it off.

How can I make the first date one to remember?

Here are some ideas for memorable first dates we love:

• The funfair—if there’s one in town.
• The karaoke bar. Do you dare?
• A scavenger hunt.
• Kayaking and other outdoor activities.
• Participating in a charity event.
• Ghost tours.
• The ocean.

What are the dos and don’ts of a perfect first date?

• Do relax, maybe with a glass or two of wine. Don’t get drunk!
• Do ask questions. Don’t be nosey or intrusive.
• Do talk about your past. Don’t talk about your exes.
• Do check their social media. Don’t tell them you did that!
• Do be yourself. Don’t be anything less than the best version of yourself.
• Do ask about a second date. Don’t assume there will (or won’t) be one.

How do I follow up after a successful first date?

If your inquiry about the second date was positive, your follow-up is going to be one of the easiest things ever. Don’t wait weeks to text, but also, don’t text ‘good night’ on the way home or ‘good morning’ first thing the next day. You’re not in a relationship yet!

A good rule of thumb is to text when you have a great idea for the next date. It doesn’t have to be a mind-blowing idea. It could just be the name of a restaurant or something related to what you talked about on the first date.

Here’s a good example: ‘Hey there, are you up for a little (insert cool dating idea here) on (insert day here)?’ Easy, right?

Whoever said making a first date perfect had to be hard? If you’re still freaking out a little bit, you can always check out our survival guide to calm your nerves, and don’t worry, you’ve totally got this!

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