So, you recently met a person you really like, you’ve been to a few nice dates with them and are now wondering how many dates should you wait before sex – sounds familiar? If yes, don’t worry, it’s a perfectly legit question to have, especially since no one wants to appear super lecherous or super uninterested.
A recent YouGov survey, looking to explore how long Brits would wait before sleeping with a new partner, reveals that the ‘three-day-rule’ could be a thing of the past, with only 12% of people stating they’d follow it, while 18% would actually be okay with having sex on the first date.
Here’s the thing about dating and sex though; no one has the right answer for how many dates you should have before having sex with someone. People will tell you a bunch of different rules or that you should wait until the relationship is exclusive.
However, the reality is that people and relationships aren’t the same and there’s definitely no ‘right’ time or the right number of dates before having sex with a new partner. What if you meet someone you have amazing chemistry with and you feel like sleeping with them on the first date? Should you deny yourself or beat yourself up about it?
There’s no magic rule that guarantees the relationship will have the outcome you want anyway, so our advice is to follow your instinct. If you feel you’re ready to have sex with a new partner on the first, second or tenth date, then that’s the right time for you!
Preferably though, you’d want to have an ideal timeframe that works for you, to protect you from any disappointment or negative situation. What do we mean by this? That you should ideally go on a few dates with the new person first – not because you risk seeming promiscuous (because there’s absolutely no shame in how quickly you decide to sleep with someone), but because you’d want to make sure this new person is reliable and you can trust them.
That’s difficult to determine only from a couple of encounters. If you’re only looking for a casual fling though, then you should probably consider being safe when you decide to heat things up with your new partner.
If you’re looking for something more serious though, it’s probably a good idea to have a general chat with your date about these things and mention what you’re looking to get out of the relationship. That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to know from the start if you want a long-term relationship with them; but if you both clarify the reasons why you’re dating (either because you’re looking for something serious or a fling), then it’ll make it easier for you to know the right time to sleep with them.