How to deal with rejection: our expert advice

Rejection is often said to be one of the worst parts of the dating process.

It hurts, it feels personal and it taps into our worst fears of not being good enough for someone. These kinds of negative feelings are tough to deal with and can even manifest in physical symptoms like dizziness, having a headache, feeling your heart drop or having a pain in your stomach.

But we’re here to tell you that, as tough as it is, rejection is also a very normal part of dating. Now, we’re not telling you this to scare you! We want you to know that the more effectively you can teach yourself to handle rejection, the better the whole dating process will be for you. We’ve put together our best advice on how to deal with rejection: make this your go-to whenever you need guidance.

How to deal with rejection

Rejection happens in various ways, from face to face to online, if you’re using a dating site. Whether it’s expected or a surprise, here’s our advice on how to deal with rejection:

1. Try to not take it to heart

We know this is hard, but when someone rejects you, chances are they’re looking for something different. This isn’t because there’s something wrong with you! It’s easy to confuse “different” with “better” and that’s what makes rejection so hard to move on from. The reality is that it’s not about you, it’s about them. If you’re not what they were looking for it doesn’t automatically mean that what they’re looking for is an improvement you. And if you’re not the right fit for them it doesn’t mean you’re not the perfect fit for someone else!

Just remember the phrase “different strokes for different folks”. The person who’s looking for someone exactly like you is out there, it’s just a matter of time until you find each other.

2. Allow yourself to feel

Allow yourself to feel any emotions you might have without being ashamed. There’s no right or wrong emotion at this stage and of course you’re allowed to feel sad, angry, or disappointed. Bottling your emotions up without an outlet will only cause you more problems further down the line.

It is a good idea to give yourself time to cool off and distance yourself from the person who rejected you if you know you have a quick temper or become emotional easily. This way you can avoid doing or saying things you might not mean and regret later.

3. Spend time with positive people who make you happy

You should be spending plenty of time with friends, family and people who make you happy when dealing with rejection. They’ll remind you of the fact that being rejected by one person doesn’t mean you’re not loved.

Don’t be afraid to reach out if you’re feeling down; you’re not a burden and they’ll jump at the chance to help you through a tough time. Friends are there for the highs and the lows, and you know you’d do the same for them in a heartbeat.

4. And spend some time alone to find yourself

Similarly, spending time alone and enjoying your own company for a while is a great way to take care of yourself and boost your self-esteem. Treat yourself, watch your favourite movies, make a list of things you like about yourself and remember that a rejection does not define you and how special you are.

As with most things, it’s all about balance. Make sure you’re not spending days on end alone, but equally don’t rely 100% on your friends and family to pull you through. Self-love is key! There are no set rules on how to deal with rejection, so do what feels right for you and you can’t go far wrong.

5. Reflect on your experience

Our experiences are our best teachers and even a negative one like rejection can help you learn and grow. Changing your perception and seeing rejection as an experience that’s taught you something is another great way of dealing with it. Reflecting on the experience can feel uncomfortable at first, especially if it’s something you feel embarrassed about, but it can help you prepare and grow for future setbacks. How to deal with rejection? Chalk it up as a learning experience!

Moving on from rejection

Dealing with rejection can be a long or short process and completely depends on you and how much you liked the person who rejected you. Don’t let the fear of being rejected again stop you from continuing your pursuit of the perfect partner. Finding love and dating are all about taking risks, so keep trying and eventually, you’ll be rewarded. The hurt you experience from rejection might sit with you for a while but that’s totally normal. It will also make you stronger and experienced enough to realise what you could have done better or differently. Rejections don’t define you, they teach you how to work on yourself until you find someone who sees you as their perfect fit and who’s also perfect for you!

We hope that our advice on how to deal with rejection was helpful. Register on Match to find your perfect partner or check out our relationship advice section for more dating tips. You’ll find articles on everything from why dating an older man is a great idea, to how to attract men naturally and effortlessly.