Give the gift of love this Mother’s Day
Give her your blessing
Have you thought that one of the things holding your mum back might be your response to her moving on? Even though you're now an adult, she might still see you as her baby and could be worried about upsetting you. Pick a good moment, such as a weekend walk, to broach the subject and let her know that you’d be happy for her if she found a new partner, and that you'll be there to support her through. If you've got brothers and sisters, let her know that they feel the same.
If she’s only known one long-term relationship, she might be feeling confused about what kind of person she’s looking for. While her priorities the first time around might have been to find someone to settle down and have children with, maybe now she needs someone who will share her interests. You can help her work it out by talking to her about what she enjoys doing and suggesting ways in which she can find someone who’ll be the perfect companion. So, if she’s a keen card player, she could join a bridge club, or if she used to tread the boards, find out about local dramatic groups and give her a list of numbers to call.
Second love at first click
Looking for love can be daunting enough the first time around, so don’t blame your mum if she doesn’t want to launch herself into the scene head first. This is where online dating is a good idea. matchaffinity.com might be a good one for her to try, as it will suggest compatible matches for her based on the results of an in-depth affinity questionnaire, which looks at values, opinions, personality and expectations. And you’re the perfect person to get her started by helping her choose a photo and write her profile.
Let her go at her own pace
While you might be happy speed-dating, exchanging numbers on a night out or setting up several dates a month, remember that things have changed since your mum was last single. She might want to ease herself into it gently, possibly only looking for companionship at the beginning, so if she’s started seeing someone new, don’t pester her for updates like you would your friends.
A new relationship doesn’t have to be an afterthought in your mum’s life. If she meets someone at the age of 50, for example, she might be looking at a 35-year relationship. While it is important that you look out for anyone who might be not be a suitable match, it will help your mum enormously if you cheerlead her way through it, and be friendly and welcoming to anyone she introduces you to. There are advantages in it for you too, as if she starts a happy new relationship, you’ll know she’s got companionship, and her new partner could be an welcome addition to the family.