A Guide to Kissing on the First Date

No matter how well a date has gone, it can be ruined by a sloppy, overly toothy, or simply underwhelming kiss. A smooch gives you a pretty accurate idea of how much sexual chemistry you have with a date, as well as suggesting what else could be on the horizon if things go well.

Singles tend to get caught up worrying about how a first kiss will go and whether they’ll be able to give their date what they’re looking for. The truth is, most of us aren’t actively thinking when we’re mid-snog; the instincts kick in and you’re focusing on enjoying the experience rather than technical performance. Sometimes the lead up to the kiss is the trickiest bit to master. Choosing the right moment and the perfect setting while gauging the kind of kiss to go for can be make-or-break factors.

We want to help! Read on for all the advice you could need on how to kiss on a date…

Types of First Date Kisses

There are many different types of kisses, and they’re all acceptable on a first date provided both you and your date are comfortable with them:

The Peck: Cute and Conservative

A light and quick peck on the lips doesn’t mean a lot, but it can be a good way to settle the nerves.

The Classic Kiss: Finding the Right Moment

You wait for the right moment, stare into each other’s eyes, lean in close, and kiss. If the moment is right, it might develop into a full-blown snog. Just go with the flow.

The Passionate Kiss: Signs it’s on the Cards

Speaking of a snog, this is when you know the night went really well. There’s a connection. Who knows where the night will take you>

The Cheek Kiss: A Safe Bet

A kiss on the cheek is safe and friendly. It also tells your date that you’re not really interested in anything more at the moment.

The No-Kiss Date: When It’s Totally Okay

You don’t have to kiss on the first date. If you’re not feeling it or there wasn’t a good moment, just end the night and wait for the next one. It doesn’t mean you don’t like them. It’s still early days!

Step-by-Step: Going in for the First Date Kiss

You don’t need to be an expert at kissing to nail the first date kiss. You don’t need to be super confident either. It’s a given that everyone will be anxious during the first date, and the anticipation of the kiss is usually the source of that anxiety. Don’t overthink it. Here are some tips to help you with that first kiss.

The Setting

Getting the setting right is important. You want to be able to focus on the kiss rather than anything off-putting going on around you. You certainly don’t want to be feeling the eyes of twenty onlookers burning into the back of your head as you lock lips.

We’d always recommend having your first kiss in a private place if possible. If you feel comfortable inviting a date to your place or going to theirs, go for it. Just don’t allow yourself to be pressured into anything you’re not ready for.

If you do have your first kiss in public, try to find somewhere that’s screened off from prying eyes. A booth or private area in a low-lit bar is a good option, as people are less likely to notice you snogging and you’ll feel less self-conscious. Ultimately, all that matters is that the two of you feel comfortable. If neither of you cares about people staring, go for the kiss wherever you want and let them watch!

Timing and Execution: Making Your Move

Once everything else is sorted, you’re ready to make a move on your date. If you’re feeling nervous, take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down. Just remember that being a bit nervous is a good thing; the nerves will get your adrenaline pumping and heighten your excitement. Don’t overthink the kiss before it happens. Turning it over and over in your head won’t help anything and will make you more likely to seize up mid-smooch.

Make sure you’re sitting or standing close to your date. Ideally, you’ll already be touching in some way—perhaps a hand on the knee or an arm around the shoulders. Hold their gaze and when you feel the moment’s right, lean in, close your eyes, and plant a gentle kiss on their lips. Don’t go straight in with the tongue; this can be a massive turn-off and feel really invasive. Start off slow so you can gauge what your date is into. Mirror what they’re doing and ramp things up if they’re responsive. Make sure you’re touching them with both hands, either on their waist, their back, or on the side of their face.

Consent is Key

If you’re not sure if they’re interested, don’t go in for the kiss. You can also just ask them straight up. The worst they can do is say no (which is better than feeling them pull back and squirm away) and it means you’ll have their consent.

Fresh Breath

Don’t forget the mints or gum, especially if you’ve just had a meal full of garlic, onion, spices, or other strong flavours. You don’t want worrying about your breath to be a distraction and your date will thank you for it!

What are the Signs that Someone Wants to Kiss You Back?

Being certain that the person you’re planning on putting the moves on feels the same way is absolutely essential. There’s nothing more toe-curling than being rejected when you lean in for a kiss, both for you and the person dodging your advances. Some simple ways to work out if they want a snog as much as you include:

• They’re constantly touching you: Some people are naturally very tactile, but you’ll be able to tell the difference between friendly touches and potentially romantic ones. Look out for the classic arm stroke or any lingering touches that last a bit too long to be strictly platonic.
• They’re giving you strong eye contact: if they’re holding your gaze seductively and staring into your eyes, Operation Kiss is probably a go. If they seem distracted and more interested in what’s going on around them, it might be best to abandon the mission.

What is the best time for a first kiss?

Unfortunately, this is one question we can’t help with. You should kiss your date when you want to and feel ready to. Don’t listen to the purists who insist that you should never kiss on the first date. Equally, don’t give in to any pressure you might be feeling to get the first kiss out of the way. If you feel ready and you think your date wants to kiss you back, go for it! Whether it’s the first or the tenth date, listen to your heart and do what feels right.

The Aftermath of the First Date Kiss

The kissing is over and done with. Great. But now what? Well, if it went well, you could schedule another date and look forward to doing it again. If you have a strong connection too, even better—a new relationship could be on the horizon. You can also consider sex—it’s early, but many couples have sex on the first date.

If it went wrong, you must decide where you want things to go. Was it bad because of anxiety? Was the setting or timing not right? If so, you can always try again. If there was no spark, however, it could be time to rethink that second date. A physical connection is very important in a relationship and a kiss can tell you whether you have such a connection.

Conclusion: Making Your Own Rules for First Date Kisses

Once you’ve started kissing, you’ll naturally know what to do and won’t be thinking about exactly what your lips are doing. Just enjoy the intimacy and allow the kiss to bring you closer together. As always, do what feels right, whether that means waiting for the second/third date, kissing them early in the date, or asking them to kiss you.

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