Are you killing the trust in your relationship by being too suspicious? Take our test to find out if your responses are out of proportion…
1. Your partner is off on holiday with the lads. Do you…
A: Check his Facebook page and those of his mates every few hours to scour for photos of him cosying up to random women?
B: Call him every other day to check in with how he’s getting on, and to let him know you’re missing him?
C: Leave him to it – he and his mates are hardly going to have any luck – and get on with your own life ‘til he gets back?
2. Your kitchen table is piled high with paperwork and your partner’s out for the day. Do you…
A: Tidy it up and, in the process, open up his mail and go through his receipts, paying special attention to anything which suggests he’s been seeing someone else?
B: Sift through everything, having a quick glance at his receipts, but leaving his unopened mail in a pile for him?
C: Sort through your stuff and anything communal, but give his things a wide berth?
3. Your man’s phone rings while he’s in the shower. A woman’s name you’ve never heard before pops up on the screen. Do you…
A: Answer the phone and grill the lady in question about why she’s calling?
B: Take the ringing phone into the bathroom and ask your partner if you should answer it, and who she is?
C: Leave the phone ringing and don’t mention it to your partner? It’s probably just a work colleague?
4. A pretty personal trainer pops a leaflet through the door and your boyfriend says he’s thinking of signing up. Do you…
A: Give him an outright ban on paying for a trainer, and offer to take him through his paces yourself instead?
B: Sign up both of you up for a couple’s session, so you can keep an eye on him?
C: Encourage him to sign up? He could do with toning up a bit.
5. Your man’s after work drink sessions seem to be getting longer and longer. Do you…
A: Turn up at the office local to ‘surprise’ him?
B: Act super-interested in the events of the night each time he gets in, asking about who was there and what they talked about, so you can gauge whether there’s anything untoward happening?
C: Step up your own after work socialising? If you can’t beat ‘em…
The results
Mostly As: Nothing gets past you, does it? You don’t leave your partner any room to cheat, even if he wanted to. While this approach satisfies your need for control, it’s probably suffocating your partner and distracting you from more constructive pursuits. If you don’t trust him at all, why are you with him?
Mostly Bs: You’re secure in your relationship but, because you value it so much, you still occasionally feel jealous of other people your partner spends time with. If your partner is happy with your approach, then it’s perfectly healthy because if he was to cheat, you’d probably know about it.
Mostly Cs: You’re totally trusting of your partner, either because you just don’t believe he’ll stray or because you don’t like him enough to care. While it’s good to feel secure and to be independent, you need to make sure he still feels loved and that the relationship is good enough for you to stick around.