How to Initiate a Kiss

So, you’ve found someone special, and you’re making plans. Great! Now comes the challenge though—time for that all-important first kiss. If you’re looking for advice on how to initiate a kiss, you’ve come to the right place:

Initiating the Kiss Step-by-Step

Follow this step-by-step guide to begin your kissing career with that special someone:

• The first step is, of course, to arrange to meet up with your date. Arranging a serious date is a good way to let them know that you’re interested in being more than friends and to set the scene ready for your first kiss.
• Make sure that they seem open to kissing. If they are being flirty or physically affectionate with you, you’re probably onto a winner. If they’re being verbally short and physically closed off (think crossed arms, for example), you might be better off waiting to see what they have in mind.
• Once you’re confident that they’re open to kissing, find the right time—it might look great in the films, but swooping in out of nowhere for a kiss doesn’t always go well. There are times that feel more natural for a kiss—the end of the date for example. You might want to be physically affectionate in more subtle ways first, to get a feel for whether they are open to a smooch. Putting an arm around them is a great tried-and-tested technique; if they lean into you, then they’re feeling it too.
• You’ll usually be able to sense when they’re up for it. Be brave and battle through those nerves—confidence is sexy, after all!
• Relax, it’s going to be fine, and relaxing mentally will help you to physically relax a little, which will make you a better kisser.
• Look into their eyes and then lean forward slowly (all important to avoid banging foreheads).
• Gently kiss them on the lips, opening your mouth slightly as you do so—emphasis on slightly.
• If they reciprocate by kissing back, continue kissing them gently, and allow the kiss to go at their pace—they may want to escalate to a full snog or prefer to keep things a little more understated. Once you’ve initiated the kiss, follow their lead to let things continue once you’re sure they’re enjoying themselves.

Voilà! You are officially a successful kisser!

How to Kiss a Guy or Girl Correctly

So, you’ve used our step-by-step guide and nailed your first kiss. Time to level up by implementing our top tips for how to kiss a person correctly:

• Keep it short and sweet, unless they tell you otherwise. This gives them the chance to go in for a second kiss, which is always a nice ego boost (and proof that our kissing tips are perfection).
• Don’t open your mouth too much—tonsil tennis is not a favourite pastime for many, so we’d recommend keeping your tongue inside your mouth unless they start exploring with their tongue first.
• Relax your face as you kiss—it may be time to “pucker up”, but avoid pursing your lips too much, this will help you to kiss more gently.
• Leave the garlic bread at home for another occasion and opt for fresh breath instead. Mints are always a plus, too. You may even want to splash out on some colourless lip salve if your lips are chapped.
• While you’re kissing them, you might want to put your arms to use. Classic moves include gently touching their face or putting a hand in their hair (avoid tugging it out!). Alternatively, slide your hands around their waist in a low hug or place a hand on their back.
• It might seem counterintuitive given you’re currently reading all about this topic but avoid overthinking your kisses. Once you start kissing, if you’re both enjoying yourselves it will feel natural and you’ll know what to do next.

How to Get Someone to Kiss You

Perhaps you’d prefer to let him or her lead the way. Whether this is down to nerves or just a personal preference, it’s totally understandable if you’d prefer not to be the one to initiate a kissing session. However, if you’d prefer not to kick things off yourself, it will help if you find ways to show them you are interested in being more than just friends.

This is where that date invite can come in handy—if you’ve organised a meeting for just the two of you, particularly if you’ve opted for something romantic, they’ll be clued into the fact that you’re developing feelings, which might just give her the confidence to give you a kiss or two.

Whether you feel ready to suggest a date or not, being affectionate towards them is another way to encourage them to plant a kiss on your lips. Show them you like what you see by being flirty—think cheeky jokes and compliments—but be careful not to make them feel like you’re only interested in their looks. Eye contact is also important, as is showing them that you’re interested in what they have to say, so listen carefully and ask genuine questions to show that you’d like to learn more about them.

Physical touch is crucial if you’re trying to convince a girl or guy to kiss you, to show them that you’re open to taking your relationship to the next level. Whether it’s touching their face, gently placing a hand on their arm or leg, or just putting an arm around them, any of these will make them feel more confident in going for a kiss.

Common Concerns and How to Address Them

Some of the most common concerns people have about initiating a kiss include:

To Ask or Not to Ask?

It’s up to you. We’ve all been raised on movies where the couple looks longingly into each other’s eyes, knows the time is right, and then kisses. But real life isn’t always that cut and dry. Sometimes, you need to ask to confirm that they actually want you to kiss them.

Put it this way: hearing “no” is much better than feeling someone squirm away from you when you lean in for a kiss.

Dealing with Nervousness

It’s normal to feel nervous. There’s a good chance the other person will be nervous as well. So, wait until the moment feels right and you’re comfortable. Take a few deep breaths and just go for it.

Handling Rejection

We all get rejected every now and then. It happens, and there’s no point getting upset about it. Just laugh it off, take it on the chin, and try again with someone else.

Not Doing it Right

It doesn’t matter how experienced you are, in that moment you might find yourself questioning if you even know how to kiss. It’s nerves, and as noted above, it’s normal. Kissing is easy. You’ve done it before and you’ll be fine when it happens again. Don’t worry!

When to Transition to More Passionate Kissing

A peck might turn into a snog, and from there, the hands start wandering. We can’t tell you when it’s the right time to progress. That’s something you’ll need to figure out yourself. Just make sure they are comfortable with it and you have their consent. Also, the night is young and so is the relationship. You don’t have to do everything now. There is plenty of time for more passionate kissing once you get that first kiss out of the way.

Conclusion: Embracing the Moment

There you have it, those are our top tips for how to kiss a girl or guy. Of course, the most important step of all is actually finding the right person to pucker up to in the first place. If you’d like a little support on your dating journey, register for Match for free today to begin browsing the profiles of interested singles in your area—your ideal match (and perfect kiss) is just around the corner!

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