Fall in Love Time: How You Know When You’re Falling In Love

From Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love with You” to “Enchanted” by Taylor Swift, countless songs have been written about falling in love with someone. It’s one of the most popular themes for movies but unlike the actors on screen, it isn’t always as simple as making eye contact across a crowded room.

Falling in love feels different for everyone. If you’ve asked couples how they knew when they knew they were in love, you’ve probably heard vague responses like “It just feels right” or “You just know”. It isn’t the validation you were looking for, but then, there are no rules and timelines for falling in love. So, how do you know where you stand? Should you say those three words or is it too early?

At what stage do you fall in love?

You don’t just meet and fall in love, there are stages to every relationship. The first step is swiping right to find a date. In the beginning, when you like someone, you feel ecstatic just thinking of them. You overlook their flaws and prioritize this new relationship over the other parts of your life. The silver screen glamorizes these fireworks as love but that’s not it.

Falling in love comes later.

To know that you’re falling in love with someone, you need to know them well. You can meet singles on dating sites but you need to spend time with them in real life to get to know them.

You need to know their good side as well as their not-so-good side. You know they’re not perfect and you’re over the initial phase of trying to be perfect to impress them. You’ve navigated through conflicts and realized that what you feel for the person outweighs the differences you may have. This is when the feeling of falling in love sneaks up on you. It’s confusing because your feelings may not be as intense as they were in the beginning and you don’t feel the need to spend every waking moment together. But, when you are together, you can be yourself, you feel calm and you want to share your world with him/ her.

Is there a right time to fall in love?

Some people fall in love as teenagers and have a lifelong love story. Some people meet when they’re young but realize they love each other decades later. Some people fall in love much later. There is no such right time to fall in love.

No rule says you get to fall in love only once in your life. Just because a relationship ended does not negate the love you felt for the person. Neither does it mean that you can’t find love again. You just have to be open to falling in love.

How long does it take to fall in love?

The body produces the dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin hormones responsible for that ‘in-love’ feeling in less than a second. According to a study by The Journal of Sexual Medicine, this happens in one-fifth of a second! Of course, it doesn’t feel that quick.

Another study found that men in heterosexual relationships fall in love faster than their female partners. Women tend to be sceptical of a man’s commitment and hence it’s often the man who says “I love you” first. While men may feel like they’re in love in about 3 months of being in a relationship, women feel those in-love butterflies after being in a relationship for about 5 months.

To know that you’re falling in love with someone, you need to know them well. You can meet people on dating sites but you need to spend time with them in real life to get to know them.

Are 3 months too early to fall in love and say I love you?

You cannot decide on the right time to profess your love based on the number of days it’s been since your first date or the number of dates you’ve been on. They may be three little words but they symbolize commitment and should be taken seriously. So, instead of counting days, look out for signs that you are falling in love.

You recognize their quirks and you like them

So, he doesn’t like dogs and puppy videos do not affect him. You understand why and you’re okay with it. When he wants to dress up for comic con, you aren’t embarrassed by it anymore…. There comes a point in a relationship when you move beyond the superficial image and can see the person for who they really are. It might have annoyed you initially but now you find these little habits endearing.

You’re comfortable being yourself around them

In the first stage of a relationship, it’s natural to keep your guard up. You want to impress your partner and so you’re on your best behaviour. You tidy up the house before you call them over, you laugh at their pickup lines, you order the penne instead of spaghetti… But, such a façade cannot be held up for long. As your relationship grows, your walls come down and you get more comfortable letting this person know who you really are. What’s more, you want them to know more about you. You want to show them your favourite t-shirt and sing along to the radio in the car…

You have a more positive outlook on life

You know it’s the right relationship when it makes you feel better about life in general. There’s no drama. Instead, you develop a more positive outlook and see things around you in a new light irrespective of whether you’re with your significant other or not. Your partner makes you feel stronger and capable of doing more. Your friends and family have probably noticed by now that you look happier and calmer.

You enjoy your time with them

When it’s the right person for you, where you are and what you’re doing doesn’t matter as much. A sudden downpour may have crashed your plans of a Saturday night date plans leaving the two of you ordering pizza at home and you realize that you’re happy. You don’t always have big plans for your dates. Sometimes, it’s enough to enjoy a cup of coffee in your (now favourite) café. Even something as silly as grocery shopping feels romantic. You find that you enjoy spending time with them doing little things that don’t feel as special otherwise.

When good or bad things happen, you want to tell them about it

It might sound silly but when small, everyday occurrences mind you of your partner, it’s a sign worth noting. You find that your special someone is almost always on your mind. When something happens in your day – you see something funny, you meet an old friend after years, or you have a meeting that doesn’t go as planned, chances are, you want to share this information with him/ her. This is a sign of the person becoming more and more important to you.

You’re thinking of the future

When you’re serious about a relationship, you prioritize it. You make time for your partner and make plans not just for the weekend but for months in the future. You start imagining what it would be like to take a holiday together, to create holiday traditions together, to introduce them to your parents and so on. These are signs of being ready to commit to the relationship. Don’t be surprised if you start imagining what your wedding would be like…

The biggest sign of falling in love – it feels right

Being in a relationship where you love your partner and are loved equally in return is a beautiful experience. If you want to experience this feeling, you need to take action. Real life isn’t like the movies – you don’t just fall in love with a person you bump into on the street. You need to take action. Start by creating a profile on Match.com. Go on a date and see where it takes you.

Key points