A while ago, I saw this tweet:
It struck me as odd, and not in line to what I have experienced, where girls who are a little shy tend to get passed over for the loud more extroverted types. Why is this? Here’s 3 explanations of why guys don’t date shy girls, and 3 reasons why guys definitely should!
1. Guys Don’t Notice Shy Girls
In social situations, most of the attention goes to the people who make the most noise. If there’s someone in the group who’s loud and dominates the conversation, people will notice them the most, and come away with a strong impression of them (“Tasmyn was really interesting!”). Quieter people can slip under the radar, or be written off (“Oh yeah, was her name Sarah? She was a bit too quiet”).
2. Shy Girls Are Often Part Of Alternative Social Circles
During education, when people form their social circles, typically there are a few well-defined groups. You have the cool, popular, popular party crowd; people who go out and drink once they hit their late teens but aren’t considered particularly cool; and the geekier or religious/ conservative crowd who don’t party or drink at all. There are wonderful, attractive girls across the board, however guys tend to concentrate on the first group where more introverted characters don’t naturally fit in.
3. Shy Girls Are Not As Immediately Exciting
A deeply moving documentary can be a really interesting watch if you sit down and get into the thick it. However, the majority of people prefer to come home after a long day’s work, switch on Love Island, and immerse themselves in easy entertainment. It’s the same with people. Someone who’s shy may be really attractive once you get to know them; you just have to put in a little extra time and effort to uncover the personality underneath! Some of the most interesting and intelligent people I know definitely don’t fit into stereotypical extrovert appearances.
Guys need to give shyer girls a chance! Here’s why:
1. Dating A Shy Girl Is Less Drama
Loud, outgoing, drama-prone partners are usually a lot of fun on a night out. However, guys should take a moment to consider what it would be like living or being in relationship with one. I once lived with a drama queen, and it was like having an ongoing toothache: constant low-level irritation. A quieter but calmer friend then moved in in her place, and instead of feeling constantly wound up, I felt soothed and relaxed. Shy tend to be more rational and cause less drama.
2. Shy Girls Are More Selfless
The harder something is to obtain, the more you appreciate it. This doubles up in relationships. Shy girls are less prone to mess around or take relationships for granted. They don’t make everything about them; they can be equally happy making others happy, and actually appreciate it when other people make the effort to make them happy too. People who are focussed on making others happy alongside their own happiness add a cycle of positivity to any relationship.
3. A Shy Girl Is Independent and Quietly Confident
By their nature, shy girls often act alone and are decisive individuals. Shy girls are often in situations where they prefer to be alone and take charge of situations and decisions; they don’t need reassurance before making decisions – which is unnecessary and emotionally draining for guys. Shy girls are also confident and appreciate time alone; they like time to recharge – think, read or wander by themselves – which complements the desire for space most guys want!
For more advice head back to our dating section, or read more of our dating blogs!