5 tips for Christian singles re-entering the dating scene

In my early 20s, I broke up with a boyfriend after two and a half years of dating, and I remember being so nervous about starting over as a single woman. I thought about silly things like “Who would I watch Netflix with?” and “Who would I text about what I had for lunch every day?” but most importantly I thought about serious things like “Who would be my confidant when I’m struggling?” and “Will I ever find someone else who knows how to offer advice, support, and love in a way that’s true to my core values?” This last question probably hits home for Christian singles fresh out of a breakup.

Whether it’s the end of a long-term relationship or a devastating divorce, a breakup is a loss, but you won’t feel the pain forever. When you’re ready to rebuild, that’s an exciting step! Here are 5 tips that will help you get back out there.

 

  1. Make Sure You’re Ready and Know What You Want

People can often rush back into dating without taking the time they need to heal from the breakup. Reflect on the time you spent with your now-ex, and find a way to get closure if you need it. Whether it’s one month or three months or more, there is no set time frame for when you should start dating again after a breakup. It’s a gradual process, and the day will come when you wake up and just know you’re ready. Once you are, you’ll also want to think about what you want to get out of the experience. Do you just want to meet new people for now? Are you looking for a similar relationship? Or is it something completely different? It’s all up to you.

 

  1. Take Advantage of Your Offline and Online Options

For Christians who are newly single, now more than ever is the time to turn to your family and friends for support. They can be a shoulder to cry on and can help you find your single stride again. Perhaps the best part about getting your loved ones involved is they more than likely know someone who has the same values and beliefs as you. Go ahead, let them play Cupid.

While word of mouth is a tried-and-true way to find dates, online dating should also be in your repertoire. A lot of the best online dating sites have a large percentage of Christian singles that are in the same position as you. Match.com, with its millions of active users, is a great place to start your search. Not only do these sites allow you to be as specific as you want about your preferences in your profile, but they also have search filters that help you narrow down the options when you’re browsing other members (e.g., denominations and political standings).

 

  1. Break Out of Your Routine — Both in Dating and in Life

It’s easy to get in a rut where your heart’s not invested in your actions, whether it’s in dating or exercising or praying or anything else in life. Your newfound singleness should inspire you to do something different. Even little things every day can make a difference. Do a new routine at the gym, try that Quiz Night your colleagues go to, or attend a bible study class that you’ve never been to. You never know who you’ll come across.

 

  1. Say Yes to Everything and Keep an Open, Positive Mind

I don’t literally mean say yes to everything, but it’s a good mindset to have. Has there ever been a time when a family member, friend, or co-worker invited you to go somewhere and you said no just because you didn’t feel like it? I know I’m guilty of doing this probably too much. Think of all the missed opportunities! The only way to meet someone new is to put yourself out there, so go into each situation with an open mind and the desire to have fun. In fact, here are 5 tips for getting into a positive mindset.

 

  1. Keep Your Faith Close and Focus on Yourself and Your Happiness

Bad dates are bound to happen. The person may not be who you were expecting or the spark might not be there, but if you stay strong in your beliefs, it will help you move on to the next potentially life-changing experience. People, especially women, have a tendency to put others first before themselves. While this can be an admirable quality to have, it can also become a problem if you’re neglecting your own wants and needs — from agreeing to a second date when you weren’t interested to participating in a date activity that makes you uncomfortable. Remember that it’s OK to focus on yourself and your happiness at this time.

There’s no right or wrong way to re-enter the dating scene — the situation is different for every person. What’s important, especially for Christian singles, is to stay true to yourself and what you stand for. Then you’ll be sure to find the right partner.

 

Hayley Matthews is editor-in-chief at DatingAdvice.com, a popular site featuring advice from more than 250 dating coaches, matchmakers, and other relationship experts. In addition to expert tips and guides, the site also publishes reviews of the best online dating sites, where Hayley and her team rate Match.com as the #1 online dating site. When Hayley isn’t writing about dating and relationships, she’s listening to The Beatles and watching Harry Potter.

 

Discover how to follow more Christian principles whilst dating, or for other Christian dating tips, head to our Christian dating section.