Most men would like to think they know exactly how to ask a girl out, whether they’re offline or online dating. But are you really doing it right? What do women actually want when it comes to that all-important moment? The truth is, it depends on the individual woman: her past experiences, her personality, her interests… The list goes on.


That’s why Match has put together a guide to how to ask a girl out, all based on her personality type. We’ll tell you what each kind of girl is looking for, how to make sure you get off to a winning start with her, and how to seal the deal in the ideal way for her.


How to ask a girl out if she’s quiet and thoughtful


This kind of girl will really appreciate a gesture that’s had a lot of thought put into it, but isn’t too showy. Don’t ask her out in public. She’ll cringe away from anything that involves strangers finding out about her love life, because she’s such a private person. Try finding out what her favourite food is and suggest going out for dinner together to a restaurant serving that cuisine. Make sure you mention that you’ve chosen that restaurant because you thought she’d like it – you don’t want your effort to go to waste! She’ll love that you’ve remembered the conversations you’ve had.


She’ll normally need a bit longer than other, more confident girls, to make her mind up about you, so don’t rush her. Take getting to know each other slowly and only go for the big question when you’ve seen some promising signs that she’s interested.

How to ask a girl out if she’s the life and soul of the party

Plan the most fun activity you can think of for your first date! This girl has high expectations and gets bored easily, so you’ll want to keep her on her toes. Check out our fun first date ideas for inspiration. Whether it’s mini golf, climbing, or a bike ride, she’ll be super excited to see what else is on the horizon if you suggest doing something fun together.


Don’t worry – you won’t have to keep planning more and more elaborate dates. After the first big date or two you can settle into more everyday dates like dinner and drinks, with the occasional activity date now and then. You just want to make sure you give her the best possible first impression of your taste for adventure and show that you can match hers!


How to ask a girl out if she’s confident and assertive

It’s all about the way you come across with this kind of girl. She’s already full of confidence, so don’t bother trying to flatter her into dating you. Everyone appreciates a compliment, but this isn’t the kind of girl who’ll become putty in your hands as soon as you say something nice to her. She can’t be dating a shrinking violet – you need to impress her with your own confidence.


Once you’re fairly sure she’s into you, approach her either in public or somewhere private. She won’t mind if you ask her out in public; she doesn’t care what other people think. Don’t beat around the bush – ask her straight out if you can take her on a date. Hopefully you will have read the signals right and she’ll say yes!


How to ask a girl out if she’s smart and witty

The most important thing to remember with this kind of girl is to avoid cheese at all costs. She’s got a razor sharp sense of humour, so she won’t need to resort to cheap one-liners or chat up lines. This means you shouldn’t either! You’re funny enough without them. Even if you’re not the most hilarious person in the world, she’ll appreciate you being yourself rather than trying to match her with pre-prepared lines.


So just approach her naturally, chat for a while about something you know she finds interesting, and then ask her if she wants to go out somewhere together. Tailor your suggestion to what she likes doing. If she’s a bookworm, suggest going to a talk given by an author she likes. If she’s a history buff, mention an exhibition you’ve heard about. Show that you have a genuine interest in her passions and she’ll want to find out about yours, too.


How to ask a girl out if she’s sarcastic and acerbic

This kind of girl can be a little hard to work out, but she wants to be loved just like everyone else. She might have her guard up more, so you’ll need to spend a bit longer getting to know her and looking for signs that she likes you. Persistence is key: don’t let her occasionally harsh remarks put you off if you think there’s something there. Just don’t keep pursuing her if she’s giving you no signals that romance could be on the cards.


She has a soft side underneath the hard shell, just like everyone else. Get to know her on a deeper level by asking probing questions, and she might just give you a glimpse of the other side to her. When it comes to actually asking her out, don’t plan anything too elaborate – she’ll only find a reason to say no if she thinks the date sounds too much like hard work. Suggest going for a walk together or having a picnic. It might be a slow process, but once you’ve won her over you’ll realise it was worth the effort.


How to ask a girl out if she’s sweet and kind

This girl is always putting others before herself, so make her happy by putting her first for once. Make it clear that it’s all about her. Suggest a first date you know she’ll love. Ideally plan different parts to it – maybe some kind of activity followed by dinner and drinks.


This kind of girl will love receiving gifts. Try giving her something small and thoughtful when you ask her out or when you go on your first date. Something like a simple piece of jewellery or homemade chocolates will go down a storm. You don’t have to break the bank at all – with this girl it’s all about the thought that you’ve put into something, rather than any monetary value.

Of course, not all girls fall into these defined categories, so feel free to mix and match this advice. If you want to meet some people to try out your newfound knowledge of how to ask a girl out, register with Match for free today. Or check out our other dating advice, including tips on what not to say in your dating profile, and your go-to first date questions.