Dating should be fun and games, especially at the beginning of a relationship! But sooner or later, you’re going to have more tricky dating conversations about your relationship status, history and plans for the future. Read on to discover how to handle these conversations like a dating pro.
1. “So…what are we?”
Your date wants to define your relationship. 99 out of 100 times this question comes from someone who wants to make sure you’re exclusively dating. If you’re super into them; lock it down. If you’re unsure; tell them you’re having a fantastic time, but you’re still seeing where it’s headed. If you’re still dating other people; tell them you love spending time with them, but you’re not not looking for an exclusive relationship right now.
2. “When was your last relationship?”
Your date is trying to find out where you stand emotionally. Very few dates want to be a ‘rebound’ or with a ‘serial dater’ if they’re looking for a more serious relationship. Honestly, the actual length of time it’s been doesn’t matter, it’s how you frame it that does. “I came out of a relationship last month and thought it was the right time to meet someone new” gives a very different impression compared to “my ex cheated on me, and I ended it last month”, despite both being true for the same person. Be honest, but align your response with your dating intentions.
3. “Are you on birth control?/Have your been tested?”
Naturally, this often conjures up uncomfortable images of your date in intimate situations, and you might not want to reveal your own sexual history to your date. But this is a practical health issue, not an emotional one. You don’t have to provide context, but you have to be 100% truthful and don’t mislead anyone, as you’d expect if you asked the question.
4. “Will you come to…with my parents?”
This question usually speaks many more words than itself. Your date is introducing you to people who are most likely amongst the most important in their life, and it’s a socially symbolic of a deepening relationship. If your immediate response is a resounding “‘NO!”, buy some time by fabricating a prior engagement. Then, take a step back and evaluate why your date thinks it would be a good idea vs what you think about it. If you can’t decipher what they’re thinking, ask them. It might be time to define your relationship more clearly.
5. “Let’s go to… for the weekend” – money talk
Most of us Brits have an uncomfortable relationship with salaries, be they large or small. We don’t want to brag or be scorned. If your date is constantly pitching ideas well out of your spending comfort range, just straight up say you don’t have the cash to splash, and make some more realistic suggestions. If it’s the other way around, evaluate how you feel about either (i) not doing those specific more expensive those things so often (ii) subsidising for your dating partner. If either of those are a dealbreaker for you, take a closer look at where you’re both heading.
Don’t expect that the person you’re dating will necessarily take your decisions well. It’s natural to react emotionally. But, being honest will be better for both of you in the long run, and they’ll appreciate it further down the line. Learn how to eliminate game playing in dating or more dating advice and tips from our experts!