Anyone can come down with a case of First Date Nerves. And even more irksome is that they often strike hardest when we care most about the person. To help you on your worry-free path to dating success we’ve compiled the things we all worry about and tips on how to stop fretting.
Most people fear not matching their date’s expectations of them. The internal worrier frets that they thought you ‘looked better in your pictures’. Don’t worry, you are not alone. And although it’s not a nice feeling, you can feel safe that they are worrying the exact same thing about themselves, after all most of us are our own worst critic. Give yourself a break and be the best you are today.
Fear of being rude
We constantly worry that other people will find us rude, but the truth is small etiquettes get washed away in the big picture. Do I open the door? Should I have offered my jacket in the cold? Should I move their chair? While body language and thoughtfulness speaks volumes, it is the conversation that crosses the line for rudeness. If you make sure that you are listening and engaging with the other person’s opinions you’ll never be seen as rude.
Whether you’re just catching a few drinks or going out for a meal, not knowing what budget you are working with can be a real source of stress. Everyone is working to a different budget, the only difficulty is communicating that without seeming showy or stingy. The trick is to discuss the menu as you are deciding. For example if you are the first person to mention cocktails, then it is likely it may be out of budget for your date. If you are happy to pay, why not offer, or if not why not just get a beer. Discussing your choices before ordering will make sure you’re on the same page, and you won’t have to fret about what’ll happen when the bill comes.
We’ve all been there, tried to go through a door at the same time, tripped on a step, had too much to drink and revealed Too Much Information. Close friends would laugh this sort of stuff off but on a first date minor embarrassments can be mortifying. Why not put you and your date at ease by creating a truce at the beginning: “I’ll tell you if you have food in your teeth if you tell me”. Phew, now you can enjoy your meal, distraction free. And if you are worried about coming across as awkward or nervous remember it’s always better to be like that then cocky and arrogant, plus it shows that you care about your date and want to impress them, and ultimately they’ll appreciate that.
A flutter of the butterflies before your first date is completely natural. It’s the fear of the unknown that most of it comes down to, so ask questions, be honest and make the unknown, known!