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Sexy Texting 101: How to Flirt Over Text Messages in Seven Steps

Sexy Texting 101: How to Flirt Over Text Messages in Seven Steps

You’ve started to date someone new and it’s going really well so far! You are sitting at home when your phone lights up with a message from them, you’re in – shall we say – a certain mood and you smile into the screen and try to get your point across in reply. There’s just one problem – you need to know how to flirt over text.

Well, live in ignorance no more because here’s our seven-step programme to sexy messaging, complete with text flirting examples to get you started:

1. Ask Some Questions

Asking questions is sexy; you get an idea of what someone might want, who they are and what they like. There are several genres of questions to ask when sexy texting, for example:

  • Genuine questions – Ask them how they’re actually doing and try to get a view of their mood before you go straight in for the flirty or steamy messages.
  • Horny questions – Be sexy but not too aggressive (no unsolicited dick pics, please!). Try something like “What would we be doing if we were together right now?” or “What do you think of this shirt (with not-too-provocative image)?”
  • Slightly less horny, more suggestive questions – If you’re treading lightly, asking some leading questions like: “Have you ever skinny dipped?” or “What do you think makes a great kisser?” is a good approach.
  • Blunt questions – Not for the fainthearted; just put it all out there by asking something like “What’s your favourite sex position?” or “Where’s one place you’ve always wanted to have sex?”
  • Probing questions – Asking questions such as “Would you like it if I kissed your neck?” casually can turn a conversation into a flirty and sexy chat in no time.

2. I Need Compliments!

Throw some compliments their way! Everyone likes compliments if you do them right. If you’re trying to flirt with a girl over text, try to stay away from objectifying them with your compliments and go for something a little off the beaten track or more personal to them, such as “I love kissing that part of your neck,” or “It’s so sexy when you make that little noise.” If you’re starting to flirt with a guy over text, compliment their looks – men never get enough compliments and they deserve to feel beautiful too!

3. How You Doin’?

There’s actually a feast of ways to get sexy over text messages now. You don’t just have to text – you can use social media. Here are some pros and cons of platforms when it comes to seductive screen time:

  • Instagram
    • Pros: You can easily send disappearing photos and chat instantly. You can also do a video call and voice call on the app.
    • Cons: People can slide into your DMs willy-nilly, so make sure that profile is protected!
  • WhatsApp
    • Pros: Good for people who want to chat to each other, as WhatsApp is primarily a messaging app, so brush up on those typing skills and follow the above advice.
    • Cons: Nothing goes away! There are no disappearing messages or photos on WhatsApp.
  • Match (obviously)
    • Pros: On Match, you can get your flirty messaging on via video date, send emojis and message instantly.
    • Cons: There are none! If you’re a serious single trying to learn how to flirt over text, look no further than us!
  • Facebook Messenger
    • Pros: Instant messaging with the ability to send all kinds of GIFs and memes easily and quickly.
    • Cons: Adding someone on Facebook gives them some insight into your life, and you might not be ready for that level of involvement in someone’s life – plus, you can’t delete messages and images after you’ve sent them.
  • Snapchat
    • Pros: Easy to use and the messages all disappear right away!
    • Cons: It’s not for serious people and can attract people who like disappearing messages because they’re up to something suspicious (like cheating or someone who isn’t interested in you as a person).
  • Good old-fashioned text
    • Pros: Like WhatsApp, text is a message-first way to get your flirt on, so it’s good for people who want to get to know each other.
    • Cons: If you don’t have a mobile phone contract, it can get expensive really fast – plus, you can’t send pictures or memes.

4. Send Nudes xoxo

It can be as mild or as explicit as you want, but the fact is that a lot of people do send suggestive pictures or nudes nowadays. Send over a sexy snap and you can start a little back and forth, let the person you’re dating know how they make you feel and share in a hot exchange of pictures.

Not that you have to – you should always do what feels comfortable to you. If you’re reading this and you’re under 18, what are you doing on a dating site for adults? We’re watching you – behave yourselves. It goes without saying that sending nudes to or soliciting nudes from someone under the age of consent is illegal.

5. Meme Time

Don’t be afraid to be funny. Show them what kind of silly YouTube videos you like or what memes make you laugh – let someone into your digital world.

6. Don’t Be Afraid of the Emoji

Think about the emoji – a simple, concise image that can make or break a sexy text conversation. For the emoji connoisseur and the initiated sexy messager, they know the ideal amount of image play to use.


  • Use fun emojis
  • Make suggestive jokes using emojis
  • Replace some words with emojis – this can be a great way to get around some words you’re not so comfortable typing


  • Make gross statements with emojis – leave the ? out of this!
  • Lean on emojis only
  • Be too aggressive with the emoji games

7. So I Just Say What I Want?

Yes! There’s a time and a place for flirty talk, and over-the-DM communication could be one of them. There’s no use in keeping it in the bedroom. Let that person know you want them and how you want them over WiFi – it’s 2021!

Happy Dating!

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