When you shouldn’t take a holiday together

Don’t check in to the heartbreak hotel

With summer approaching you and your loved one might be dreaming of warmer climes, suntans, and cocktails on the beach. But think carefully before you book that trip away. Here’s our guide to when it might not be a good idea…

When one of you is earning much more money
Unless you’re at the stage when what’s theirs is yours and vice versa, you need to be careful about going on holiday with different budgets. If you earn more and want a relaxing and luxurious break, you’re not going to appreciate calls to rough it. Similarly, if money’s tight, don’t be tempted to go along with plans for a five-star holiday. You’ll end up spending more than you can afford just to please your other half.

When you’re going through a stressful period
Holidays are supposed to help you unwind, but when you’re experiencing an unusually hectic time at home – such as moving house or changing jobs – you may find it tough to switch off. If there’s something important on your mind, the holiday could be wasted and spark arguments between the two of you. Plan a trip for after the stress has subsided and it will give you something relaxing to look forward to.

When you’ve known each other for five minutes
Tempting as it is to escape on a romantic break when you’re in the first flush of lust, booking a holiday too soon can be a mistake. You may think your other half is perfection personified now, but you might change your mind once you’re sharing a bathroom. And if you want to maintain your mystique around your lover, such an intimate setting could bring it crashing down. Do you really want them to learn the secrets of your grooming routine already? Start with a weekend break so there are no nasty surprises.

When your tastes are wildly different
If your idea of a good time is trekking through the Himalayas and your partner wants to chill out on a private beach, you won’t be a holiday match made in heaven. Of course, opposites attract and can make for sizzling chemistry, but if your interests are very different it will be hard to find a compromise. And when you’re shelling out on a holiday you should make sure you’re both getting your money’s worth. It doesn’t mean your relationship won’t work overall, but perhaps save certain adventures for sharing with friends who will really appreciate them.

When your love is on the rocks
If you’re going through a rough patch, don’t make the mistake of thinking a holiday will magically cure the relationship. If anything, the intensity of all that time alone together could deepen the rift. Just as Christmas can be a miserable time when you’re down, forcing yourself into a situation that’s supposed to be romantic may just underscore your unhappiness. You may decide a make-or-break trip is just what you need as a couple, but make sure you go into it with your eyes open.

When you never stay for breakfast
If a handful of dates a month are all you want from your lover and you’re itching for your own space by 8am the next day, a week in a hotel together could have you climbing up the walls. Even the best of friends can end up not speaking after seven days in each other’s pockets. If you like your relationships breezy and not too full on, stick to meet-ups where you know there’s an escape route.

When you don’t like the rest of the group
You and your partner may get on like a house on fire, but you might not be the biggest fan of his friends and family. Think twice before accepting an invitation to holiday with the in-laws or his pals if you don’t like their company. Agreeing to a barbecue or Christmas dinner is one thing, but if you commit to a holiday together you may not be able to keep up the pretence for long, and it could fuel further resentment from all sides.