Does He Fancy Me? Signs and Advice to Know for Sure

We’ve all had those moments of excitement and uncertainty—a glance, a smile, a joke, a laugh—that make us wonder, “Does he fancy me?”. It’s a question that men and women ask at any age and one that often leads to intense over analysation.

It’s not an easy question to answer as there are a few factors to consider. But we’ll help you with those analyses and see if there is a genuine interest and a potential relationship hiding in those furtive glances, or if he’s just being polite and friendly.

Part 1: Recognising Signs That He Fancies You

Whether you are friends with the guy you’re chasing or just bump into him occasionally at work, there are a few things to look out for. These things might not be proof that he likes you “that way”, but they certainly suggest it.

He pays extra attention to you

When you’re in social groups, who does he focus on? Does he ignore you and spend his time with other people, only to give you a few brief looks throughout the night? Or does he focus on you and make everything about you? If it’s the latter, it’s a good sign that he fancies you.

He initiates conversation and maintains eye contact

Does he avert his eyes as soon as you make eye contact? Does he make eye contact with you? Both of these things can suggest he is interested, although the former just means he has a nervous personality.

Leaning in is another sign. Look for the almost imperceptible lean, a suggestion that they want to get closer and hear more. It’s their body’s way of pushing them closer to you, an open advertisement that says, “I’m interested”.

Body language and mirroring

Mirroring body language is something that a guy might do subconsciously, and it’s a good sign. It’s a primal thing. It’s their way of showing you that you’re similar and are a good match.

Some of the things to look out for include their stance and body position, as well as their speech patterns and what they’re doing with their hands. If they’re matching you, it’s mirroring, and it’s a good sign.

He compliments you and shows genuine interest in your life

Compliments are a good sign, but they don’t count for everything. Some womanisers only want one thing, and they have mastered the art of the compliment to get it.

But if those compliments are backed by genuine interest, an interest in you, your life, and the things that matter, it’s all good.

He makes an effort to spend time with you

One of the most obvious signs that someone fancies you is that they want to spend time with you. They will do what they can to see you, including regular visits to your home and arranging dates on the weekend.

He contacts you regularly

If a guy likes you, he will want to know what you’re doing. He’ll want to call you every now and then, text you good morning when he wakes up and goodnight when he goes to sleep. You will be on his mind all of the time, just like he is on yours, and that will reveal itself in the messages he sends and the calls he makes.

Part 2: Interpreting Subtle Hints

His friends’ behaviour around you

Men are often stereotyped as being more distant than women. They are surface-deep, or so the theory goes, and they don’t have any intense conversations with their friends. It’s true, to an extent, but if they really like someone, they will usually tell their friends. If you bump into friends of his and they clearly know who you are, it’s a great sign.

It means you have popped up in at least one conversation. That might not sound like a big deal, but it can be. If they are a typical “lad’s lad”, all beer, banter, and football, and his friends know about you, it’s practically equivalent to a letter confessing their deepest love.

He acts nervously or differently when you’re around

Nervousness can make it hard to judge whether a guy likes you based purely on what he says or how much he speaks to you. You might mistake his silence and standoffish behaviour for complete disinterest. But he could really like you and just be nervous about chatting with you.

He teases or makes fun of you in a friendly way

Teasing and light “ribbing” is how many men show interest. It’s one of the biggest signs a guy fancies you. Sure, it’s a little playground-like in nature, but that’s how many men show an interest. Of course, we’re only talking about gentle jokes and laughs, and not chasing you around with worms or pulling your hair!

He remembers details about your conversations

Hearing and listening are two different things.

Listening could just mean that they are silent when you talk. Whether you’re telling them about your day, your preferences, or even memories from your childhood, they might just be smiling, nodding, and waiting for you to stop talking.

But if you notice any of the following signs, it’s a different story:

• They ask you further questions relating to what you’ve told them
• They encourage you to talk and don’t simply make the conversation about them
• Their facial expressions match what you’re saying (happiness, sadness, surprise) and aren’t just blank

The biggest sign that he is listening is when he references the conversation at a later date, such as buying you a specific food that you really like or creating an inside joke from something that you said.

He’s active on your social media profiles

Put yourself in their shoes for a moment. You meet someone you like. You spend a lot of time thinking about them and wondering if they like you back. What do you do? Well, this is the social media age, so for many, the answer is to spend countless hours browsing their socials and seeing what they get up to.

Eventually, you’re going to start liking their pictures—a laughing emoji here, a love heart there. You’ll want to show them that you find them funny, that you agree with them and like what they say.

The same is true for them. So, check your socials—are they engaging with you or are they completely ignoring you? If it’s the latter, check their activity to see whether it’s because they don’t spend a lot of time on social media or because they are giving that attention to someone else.

Part 3: Additional Factors to Consider

Cultural and personal differences in expressing interest

Be considerate of cultural differences and personal space when planning your next move. If they are from a culture that is very strict when it comes to dating, they may not appreciate you being forward with them. You may need to rein in your personal displays of affection.

Understanding friendliness versus flirtatious behaviour

Just because he is being nice to you doesn’t mean that he likes you. It could just be his way of being friendly. Look beyond the eye contact and the friendly conversations and think about the sort of questions they ask, the way they react when you talk about relationships, and how they look at you.

Considering your existing relationship

If you’re friends with him, you should think about how your next move will affect them. What if you’re wrong and it makes things awkward between you and your friends? In such cases, you can start by asking those friends and see if they have picked up on the same signs.

Part 4: Taking Things Forward

How to respond if you’re interested

If you’ve picked up on the signs he fancies you and are also interested, make those feelings clear. Be upfront and clear about things. He may have fancied you for a long time, and if he still hasn’t told you, it suggests he isn’t very forward or direct. Leave no room for ambiguity.

How to respond if you’re not interested

You shouldn’t tell him outright. There’s a chance you’re wrong, and that would make for a very awkward conversation. Even if you’re not wrong, if you’re saying that you’re not interested out of the blue, he might deny it and make things awkward anyway.

Try to show you’re not interested, such as by talking about other men. You could even casually state that you have a specific type, and then follow it with a description that is the opposite of them.

Communication is key: express your feelings

If you like each other, you need to be very clear with regard to your feelings. You may have known each other for months or even years without voicing an interest. Now that you’re both on the same page, that ambiguity needs to stop.

Dealing with potential rejection or misunderstanding

Rejection is a fact of life. It’s an uncomfortable fact, but it’s a fact, nonetheless. You have to learn to embrace it, otherwise, it will stop you from doing the things you want to do and saying the things that you want to say.

By all means, consider how opening up will impact your existing friendship or the workplace/social dynamic, but don’t refrain from voicing an interest just because you’re worried about rejection. What if you spend the next 10 years of your life not really knowing if there could be something between you, only for them to marry someone else and then casually mention they had a crush on you?

Do your future self a favour and tell them how you feel.

Moving from fancying to dating: The next steps

Once you have established that there is a connection, it’s time to take the next steps and start some serious dating. This is when things get interesting. Arrange a proper date and get a little more personal with your questions. You already know each other to some extent, but now it’s time to delve deeper and explore what they are really like.

Conclusion: Signs He Fancies You

No guy is a walking advertisement for their feelings. They are not like the men you see in romantic comedies, either, which is to say that they won’t always profess their love or express their true feelings via deep and meaningful letters. Sometimes, all you’ll get is a glance, a lean, a text message sent at the right time, or a kind gesture.

No one ever said that dating single men was easy, and that’s true for both straight and gay dating.

When that happens, the onus is on you to figure out if they really like you. The above tips should help you to do just that. Once you make your decision, it’s up to you how you use the information.

Should you bite the bullet and ask the important question? Should you wait for something a little more concrete? Only you will know which approach is best!

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