Forget what you’ve heard, sex on the first date could just be the making of your relationship
If you’re already wondering whether first date sex is for you, the chances are what’s stopping you are the barrage of strict dating rules we’ve been indoctrinated with. You only have to go online, flick through a magazine or turn on the tv to hear that sex on the first date is the cardinal sin of dating. Keep your knickers firmly on and your lustful thoughts at bay if you want them to actually LIKE you. Apparently…
Indeed, experts and amateurs alike have spent years puzzling over the best time to get down and dirty if you’re looking to develop anything more meaningful. But the truth is, whether you’re having sex on the first date, sex on the second date or sex on the third date is totally personal. It’s all about what works best for you and the person you’re dating.
So forget what you’ve heard. First date sex could not only be a hell of a lot of fun, it might just be the making of your relationship!
So… should I have sex on the first date?
Short answer, yes.
The sparks are flying and you want to jump into bed with each other after a great date, so why not go for it? If you’re feeling signs of sexual attraction, there’s no harm in exploring them. Sex with someone you like is a wonderful thing and nothing to feel shameful about, no matter what the dating rule book has told you.
The concept that sex on the first date will mean the relationship won’t go any further than the physical truly makes our blood boil. Because any person who likes or respects you less after they’ve had sex with you really isn’t worth your time.
In fact, for many of us, sex early on is pivotal in developing real intimacy. The idea that sex on the first date will hinder a deeper connection is a total myth. Sex without any emotional element is actually pretty rare, and it’s fair to say that most of us feel closer to a person after having sex with them.
If those signs of sexual attraction are there – your heart is racing and you just want to be close to them – there’s no harm in testing it out! After all, we can’t help the chemicals racing through our bodies when we’re sexually attracted to someone. Sometimes the signs of sexual attraction are just too strong to argue with!
Because for most of us, a hot and steamy sex life is really important to a relationship. Getting to know if you’re sexually compatible before investing your valuable time in a person could be a really good idea. Have first date sex and find out there are fireworks in the bedroom? Happy days. Wait 6 months only to find out you’re hot for each other fully clothed, but sexually you just don’t fit? I know which I’d rather…
Sexual compatibility aside, there is another danger of leaving it too long to have sex – the dreaded friend-zone. The longer sex goes unexplored the more platonic a relationship can become. You’ve met all his friends, know his favourite food, where he went to Uni, you’ve snuggled up on the sofa together and now he’s going to see your orgasm face… #awkward
All this said, a little anticipation has never hurt in the bedroom, so there’s no pressure to get down to business before you feel ready or comfortable. Maybe it’s sex on the second date, sex on the third date or maybe you want wait for your relationship to be established before things start heating up. We all have our own boundaries so do what feels right for you.
As the saying goes, sometimes patience is a virtue, and sometimes – fortune favours the bold.
Does he like me or does he just want sex?
The million dollar question for us girls. When talking first date sex, there is always an underlying worry that he’s there for the wrong reasons. You’re out there looking for a guy you can bring home to mum and he’s got one thing on his mind.
If you’re asking yourself, does he just want sex, there are some definite red flags you should be looking out for:
- You only spend time together on his terms and he doesn’t give you the attention you deserve.
- He doesn’t make an effort for dates and things end up getting sexual very quickly.
- He doesn’t open up or give you any emotional intimacy.
- He doesn’t share details about his life or ask you about yours.
- You suspect he’s dating or sleeping with other people.
- He gets annoyed if you spend time together but don’t have sex.
- The sex is ‘all about him’. Come on guys… you must have heard of foreplay by now!
- He’s told you he doesn’t want anything serious. Sis, if he’s been upfront, don’t waste your time trying to change him!
Casual sex works for plenty of people, but the most important thing is he respects you and you respect yourself. So don’t settle for first date sex with a guy who’s just not that interested…
And remember, Match members are generally looking for something meaningful, so if they’re taking you on a date, chances are there’s something they like about you beyond the physical. While there can never be any guarantees in the tricky world of love, take this as a little boost that he likes what he sees so far, and get to know him!
What are you waiting for?
If you both want to have sex on the first date, that’s really the only thing that matters!
If you’re looking to meet a special someone with whom the signs of sexual attraction are palpable, why not try signing up to Match? Match singles are generally looking for committed relationships, but that’s not to say that sex is low on the agenda! So start browsing for sexy, committed singles today.