Dating tips4 minutes

How to secure a second date with a guy

Laura, 12 April 2019
How to secure a second date with a guy

So the first date is on the horizon and everything sounds promising, but how can you ensure he’s not a one-date-wonder? Snag yourself that second date with our top tips on how to leave him wanting more…

On the first date:
Keep the ex-talk to a minimum

Don’t fall into the trap of using the first date as an excuse to bad mouth your ex or go into the ins and outs of why your previous relationship didn’t work. This will only make him think you still have issues that need resolving and that you’re not really ready to embark on something new. If asked about your ex, just say something simple like “It just didn’t work out.” And move the conversation along. He’ll appreciate your candour.

Don’t get drunk
First dates can certainly be nerve-jangling experiences so it’s natural to turn want to steady them a bit by having a drink or two. If you’re going to drink be sure to keep yourself in check lest you get legless and blow your chances. Chugging down cocktail after cocktail might give you the Dutch courage you think you need, but could end up costing you that second date – especially if you get blind drunk, throw-up or need help getting home. If you’re just going out for drinks be sure to eat something first, and don’t be afraid to ask for a glass or water between drinks to dilute the amount of water in your bloodstream.

Offer to pay
While it’s traditional for the man to pay on the first date, don’t just assume he will. It’s polite to offer to pay your share when the bill comes. If he’s a proper gent, he’ll turn you down, but it shows him that you’re well mannered and haven’t just taken for granted that he’ll pick up the tab. And don’t forget your manners at the end of the date either. Thank him for a lovely evening but don’t invite him back to your place. Give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek – maybe even a quick peck on this lips, but always leave him wanting more.

Don’t assume there’ll be a second date
However well you’re getting on, resist the urge to say things like “Maybe we can go there next time.” Or “Your friends sounds awesome, I’d love to meet them.” You might not mean to sound like you’re over-keen but your date is likely to find comments like these a little uncomfortable not to mention presumptuous. Same goes for probing questions like “Do you want kids?” and “How do you feel about marriage?”. Remember it’s a first date and you don’t need to know everything about him straight away. After all, you’ll need something to talk about on the second date right?

After the first date:
Don’t friend him on Facebook

So the first date went well. Adding him as a friend on Facebook will increase your chances of getting a second date right? Nope. For one thing he might not take kindly to being cyber-snooped and secondly it could back fire on you. Say he had a great time but then sees your list of favourite bands and decides it’ll never work between you. It’s easy to make rash judgements about people based on their profile. Better to give him a chance to get to know you properly before revealing your Jedward obsession.  That way he’s more likely to think of it as one of your cute quirks rather than a chuckable offence.

Resist the temptation to call him
If he wants to see you again he’ll call to set up the next date, so no matter how tempted you are resist the urge to make first contact after the date. Don’t call, text or email him in an attempt to cajole him into making future plans. Guys like to take things at their own pace. Being hounded by text and email will only serve to put him off. Once he does make contact though, don’t play hard to get by waiting days before responding. 

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