When it comes to dating, a lack of trust in people can cause long lasting problems. Sometimes, our experiences in past relationships and the behaviours of former partners can dictate the level of trust we’re willing to place on a new love interest.
Overcoming trust issues can be difficult, but it is possible to move on positively into the future. It’s all about taking those first few steps…
When dating someone new, we often know little if anything about their past and present. Trust in a new relationship is built over time, be it through sharing secrets, fears and wants or being utterly honest at all times. Trust will form the foundations of your flourishing relationship, but it must be earned and maintained with consistent actions of loyalty, honesty and love.
In the past you may have been hurt or misplaced your confidence, but it is important to wipe the slate clean when entering a new relationship. Trust can be regained, but it will take time. It cannot be bought in the form of flowers and extravagant gifts, it must be earned.
Knowing when to trust your instincts
Trust can be a learned behaviour that you gain from previous dating experiences and relationships. It is important that you do not listen to hearsay and that you trust your instincts, rather than what others say. If you have doubts about the motivations or actions of a partner, make sure they are based on solid fact and that you’re emotionally prepared for an angry response If you choose to challenge them.
Don’t use dates as therapy
Don’t use dates like therapy sessions – in the beginning, a new partner doesn’t want to hear about your ex. If you are derogatory about previous partners, your new one will feel you’ll just go on to be derogatory about them! So keep quiet.
If you find yourself tempted to snoop through a partner’s texts, call history or emails then it may be that you’re simply looking for a reason not to trust them, thus implying you’re not ready for the relationship to evolve. In the early stages of dating someone new, it’s unlikely that this certain someone has yet given you any reason not to trust them. So, just relax and take things at a slow pace until you start to feel more comfortable.